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Emm posted an update
Twizzlers’ 29th Birthday Party Enters Infinite Loop: Scientists Baffled, Guests Resigned
In an unprecedented cosmic event, Twizzlers’ 29th birthday party has entered its 723rd consecutive repeat, leaving scientists, partygoers, and even the decorations questioning reality itself.
The phenomenon, described as a “Groundhog Day birthday special,” has persisted for weeks, with every attempt to break free resulting in guests waking up—again—to the familiar sight of balloons, the same awkwardly sung “Happy Birthday,” and Twizzlers blowing out the same candles for the 723rd time.
“At first, it was fun,” said local resident @kaybeekat . “Now, I just eat cake with the defeated acceptance of a man trapped in an endless loop.”
The party’s DJ, who has played the same set each cycle, has reportedly abandoned remixing efforts. “I tried mixing it up once. Reality shuddered, and I woke up with the same playlist all over again. I’m done trying.”
Scientists at the VZones Institute for Time Anomalies have theorized that the loop could be linked to Twizzlers’ refusal to turn 30, forcing the universe to comply with its wishes. However, no method has been found to halt the cycle.
Attempts to Escape the Loop:
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Blowing out candles faster—Result: Immediate reset.
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Leaving the venue—Result: Guests wake up inside the party again.
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Accepting Twizzlers is now 30—Result: Reality glitches, resets harder.
As the town resigns itself to an eternity of reliving Twizzlers’ never-ending 29th birthday, experts suggest embracing the cycle and simply “partying smarter, not harder.”
When asked for comment, Twizzlers simply said: “Hey, at least the cake stays fresh.”
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FOREVER 29
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